My Lovely Food Poisoning
Jeff suggested I write this post. According to him this experience needed to be shared with the same wording and graphics that I gave while still sick and in the heat of it all (apparently it was entertaining)...
This may get a little graphic, because that is what makes this post so epic. I warn you now. If vomit stories make you nauseous stop reading. Also I will preface this post by telling y'all that I will only be using the word diarrhea once. There I used it. From now on it will be written in the Chinese pinyin wording, “laduze”. It just seems less awkward and gross in Chinese. It may be due to the fact that in Asia talking about having laduze is very common. Daily in class, in shopping settings, at home, and at work a person will openly say “excess me I have laduze” for all to hear. No embarrassment is accompanied with the term! Unlike in America, everything about the term laduze makes the cheeks go red, including the one who said the word and the ones listening. Right now I am stepping out on a limb and combing the two cultures. This is my experience with laduze, vomit, moans in pain, and fainting. My cheeks have not turned red yet, hehe... have yours?
The story begins back during the superbowl, about a week and a half ago. Jeff made really yummy salsa. It was a hit. A little yummy secret ingredient was the cilantro. We made a almost midnight run on Saturday night to buy cilantro. It must have been a very popular item because the cilantro produce shelves were completely bare. Being desperate we used my roommates bundle of cilantro that she bought a few days earlier. Lets put a little tad bit of info in here. I was the one that pushed using her cilantro. I washed the cilantro and picked out the bad parts. Yes, even back then it was beginning to go bad. NEVER again am I using cilantro that has begun to go bad, not even if the salsa desperately needs it :)
Now we fast forward eight days to Monday February 11, 2013. At about 4:00 in the afternoon I sit down and enjoy a yummy bowl of beans, sausage, sour cream, chips, and covering the top the last of the salsa. Eight hours later I wake in the middle of the night with a rumbling stomach that continued to push pressure up into my throat. I held in the nauseous pressure until 7am. A mighty feat if you ask me. After that I was not so mighty! From 7:00am until about 3:00pm I was making visits to the restroom every twenty minutes. This is where it gets lovely. I was told by a good source that a couple ways you know you have food poisoning rather than the stomach flu because it has a quick on set and when you vomit you can taste the food that made you sick. Did I taste that salsa meal now during these toilet visits. Yes Sir and M'am I did! It was NASTY! After eating that meal the day before I ate Krispy Kream doughnuts and and barbeque chicken. Did I taste them, not at all.
As I vomited up very chunky beans, meat, and salsa the chunks were so thick I felt like I would choke because they would get stuck coming up and then, prepare yourself. This is the number two worst experience of the entire sickness. As I threw up it came up with such force and pressure it would hit the toilet water and just as fast fly back and hit me in the face. I couldn't do anything. The vomit just kept coming so I could not move away. My clothes and face continued to be showered with lovely up chuck. It was disgusting guys! After the rush ended I undressed and showered off. It was very needed :(
A little plug in that I am going to give so that the next few hours of my life do not seem so whiny to me are: when a person is nauseous, it is one of the worst feelings ever. Especially when the nauseousness feeling doesn't leave for hours on end and you do not see an end in sight, acting like a baby is perfectly allowed. There is this soft moaning sound that just seems to escape my lips during this time. I am pretty certain that this sound can not be stopped! It kind of goes like this: (soft crying sound) “Please go away”, “No, No, No”, “It hurts” whimper, whimper... Pathetic I know. It just does not feel good!
By this point in the day I was so weak. Every time I visited the restroom both ends worked too well. It was those visits when you have to sit on the toilet due to laduze and hold the trash bag for the vomit. Each time I tried to drink it would come up and or out within twenty minutes. I was sooooo thirsty. All I wanted to do was chug water down!! But I wouldn't because I knew it would cause ample amounts of pain. I even began dreaming of delicious beverages. I named them off in my head and made shopping lists of all the ingredients I needed to make these yummy drinks! If you had mentioned food though at this time all my anger would have been pointed toward you because of the large amounts of nauseous pain you caused me.
One little secret I discovered is that holding a tea bag in front of your nose and breathing in it's fragrance when you are nauseous helps quite a bit. I rested in bed for a few hours just holding the tea bag in front of my nose. At one point I must have been able to fall asleep for a short time because I awoke with the tea bag suctioned up to my nostrils and my mouth laying open due to my nose passage being blocked :) It was one of those lovely moments when you find a circle of wetness on your pillow. Oh yes, such a good time in my life (full sarcasticness here!!!).
Now onto the scariest part of the whole ordeal. At about 7:30pm I needed a change. I felt a bath would be perfect. In a way it did feel good, in a way it was horrible! After laying in the bath for a little bit I began to feel the urge once again. When laduze hits you have no control. Wet and naked I went to the toilet. Moving fast when your body is completely empty of any minerals and nutrients and is very dehydrated I must add is not a good idea. As soon as I sat on the toilet I felt the zoning in vision that occurs when you are about to faint. The next moment was terrifying. I must have reached up to gain balance, but as I fainted my hand had slid down the wall turning off the light. Next the top half of my body fell into the 6 or so inch space between the toilet and wall. On the fall I busted my ear on the toilet flusher. I guess this fall can be seen as an accomplishment of my flexibility, if we are looking for up sides to this experience. Other than that there are none. I do not know how long I was out, but I woke to the intense feeling of needing to vomit and quickly I began. By this time there was nothing left in my system so what came up was dark green; which I later learned is bile.
Waking up was terrifying!!! It was pitch black, I was wet,naked,vomiting, I had no idea where I was, and I was in a horribly uncomfortable position. With my weakness it was hard to find the light and get up. After sitting for about twenty minutes letting my body regain its balance I emerged from the restroom. My roommate saw me then and had a mini freak out to see me looking like a ghost. I can only imagine what I had looked like 30 minutes earlier.
(Fainting in my experience is not this glamours.. according to Google images it is)
Jeff showed up about 15 minutes later with DELICIOUS pedialyte and ginger ale; that I may have drank too much off because I was so excited even though I had strict rules! Jeff cuddled me later that night. I may have moaned, but it was nice not to be alone with the pain. I only vomited one more time during the evening. That night my muscles were so achy that my legs couldn't stop moving. These movements caused my dreams to be full of races which constantly awoke me because I would get tangled in my sheets. Wednesday felt like I had been hit by a truck. My Mom calling though out the day to make sure I was still alive was sweet! Today is Friday and my stomach is still tender and I feel weak, but I am not nauseous!!!!
LIFE IS A SUCCESS!
One more food poisoning down!
I thank Ginger Ale for my recovery... I am madly in Love with you :)
