Our Personal Plage: 2014-07-27

A BIRTH STORY

Emmett Jeffrey Shirts

Born July 21st,2014 at 2:28am

Emmett's birth was perfect! I am grateful for each struggle and miracle that occurred. His birth was an incredibly spiritual experience that has opened my eyes to how much God's hand is in our life. A lifetime of listening to friends and their experiences, months of birthing classes and learning all I could did not prepare me for how things actually turned out.

I wanted to go into labor naturally and stay home for as long as possible with my candles around me and peaceful music. I prayed for no interventions and an experience that I would not regret. Most of all though I wanted a healthy baby to bring home! I got the last two, which was the most important! But I also learned a lesson. We are not meant to control everything; instead we are meant to trust!

Through prayers and priesthood blessings I was filled with peace at each step of labor. Decisions that I never thought I would have to make were made easy when I felt the comfort of the spirit. Now looking back I can see that each unexpected turn was necessary in birthing Emmett so that he and I would be healthy. At times I could feel a strong impression that "at this moment you have to give it your all". I found out later that it was those moments that doctors were hiding from me the true magnitude of the scary situation. I was told later that it was because of my actions at those precise moments that saved us from even scarier interventions. I am so grateful for the comfort and strength given from our Heavenly Father, a patient and expert doctor, and for the most supportive husband who never left my side and looked at me like I was a super hero. Without realizing it, his massages, confidence, and loving words kept me going!

While pushing that large head out I was offered a mirror for just a minute to see as his head appeared. At that moment I saw him, even if it was only a part of him, for the first time a new kind of love developed in me and I was connected to this little boy. I knew I always would be. After a few more contractions the pressure of him right there was intense and then the release of all of him as he slid out was the most relief I have ever felt. He truly was here. Within no time he started crying and as they began rubbing him down I looked at his little body and it was at the precise minute that I had the most intense high of highs I have ever had. I was overwhelmed with peace and love and tingles. Without realizing it I was crying. They were the most amazing tears of joy and then he was placed on my chest. Right then I became a mom!

Jeff wrote the following birth story:

July 21st, 2014 will always be a special day to me, Jeff. It was the day that I met my first child. It was the day that I became a father. It was also the day that I saw my wife do extraordinary things. I learned then that she is not just another woman, but a woman who is capable of doing the most amazing and hard of things.

It started at 0500 on Sunday the 20th. We were scheduled to go in for an induction so that little Emmett could come and meet the world, since he was reluctant, or as it turns out, Amber's uterus was reluctant to expel him into this cruel world. Either way Donna, Amber's mom was leaving in a few days, and she was overdue and an induction was going to be the next step. Now did Amber want an induction? Nope. Did she want any medical intervention to speak of. Not really. But when you are married to a man who is about to start Medical School to get his MD and his mother is a Labor and Delivery Nurse at the hospital where you are scheduled to give birth, some medical intervention is going to happen. Even if that is just giving birth in a hospital to calm them down. This was all that Amber wanted. A nice, relaxing birth in the hospital with her own clothes, no drugs, nice candles, and me. The requisite doctor and nurses would be there as well but it was going to be an intimate and special affair.

Well the no drugs policy was not set in stone, she wanted to go naturally and make the decision about different medications as time went on. I thought it was a fantastic idea, and fully supported her in this decision. Less interventions, less opportunity for complications. Obviously at this point we had made the decision that an induction was most likely the next step, but even that was not guaranteed. The day started out, like I said at 5 AM with a phone call to see if we could come into the hospital to get things rolling. The answer that we got was "no". There had been too many women spontaneously going into labor the day and night before so they were not going to be able to start an induction without beds or nurses available. I thought I was going to get more sleep. I was wrong. Just after I hung up the phone Amber said to me, " Oh, my back hurts." It was then that I realized that she was having a contraction. These contractions continued for an hour, and we finally decided to go for an early morning walk. We walked for about an hour and the contractions were anywhere from 3-5 minutes apart, and getting slightly stronger. This was all good news.

After we got home the contractions died down, but were still there. We went for another walk and decided to head into the hospital just to get the baby checked. There was no guarantee that we would stay. This was just to quite the physician and the resident L&D nurse. So we dutifully headed in. We got there and got all hooked up and found out that Emmett was the textbook example of what a baby should be in the uterus. He was happy, healthy, very mobile, and had a strong heartbeat. The contractions on the other hand were less stellar then we would have wanted to have seen. They were there. They were 5 minutes apart, but they were not making any progress. Nothing was changing with her cervix and things were stagnating.

Our nurse called Dr. Woods and informed him of the situation and he called us and told us that he wanted to go ahead with the induction. We were hesitant, but we prayed about it and had the feeling that we needed to stay. This proved to be a good thing 14 hours later. Dr. Woods is one of the most competent physicians that I can think of. He does not rush things that do not need to be rushed. He does not do an intervention that does not need to be done. He is very smart, pragmatic and understanding. He doesn't do the whole scare tactic routine some OB's follow in order for the birth of the baby to be most convenient for them. These are all good things in our book. So when he said he wanted to go ahead with the induction we thought about it, prayed about it and then agreed.

At first there was nothing to report. Family came and visited. Brownies were consumed. Ticket to Ride was played, Gilmore Girls was watched, and things were good. Amber was in her clothes, and things were happening how she had envisioned, mostly. Then Dr. Woods came after Amber being on pitocin for three hours and checked her and saw that things were still not progressing so he broke her water with the hope that things would speed up. There is nothing worse than 36 hours of labor. Just ask my mother. :)

Well things did change, that is for sure. The contractions were much more intense, but Amber was handling them well. We finished Ticket to Ride, and then it was time for everyone to leave because things were getting serious. The contractions were more intense, thanks to pitocin and the broken water, and she was no longer comfortable. We decided to try out the bathtub to relieve some of the pain, but that was less effective. The dance party that Emmett was having by himself did not help the situation because he made it difficult to keep a watch on his heartbeat. At this point Amber had had enough. She was on the verge of tears. Her pain tolerances were being met, and no matter how much breathing and using of relaxing methods we were doing, the pain was just not manageable any more. After three hours of these contractions she then made one of the hardest decisions that she had to make. Whether to get an epidural or not. If you have seen, What to Expect When Your Expecting you will understand this reference: Amber wanted the Juice. I tried to ask her if she wanted to wait just a bit longer, but just then there was another contraction and she was very adamant that she wanted the juice. So that is what they did. It took two separate tries to get it in and many contractions that Amber had to sit still through. But it was all worth it. Again, this was a REALLY good thing about 6 hours later. After that things were good. No, they were great. This was the epidural of all epidurals. She had no pain. She could still move her legs. Things were fantastic because most importantly, she could rest and so could I. I laid down for a little nap and when I woke up things had progressed drastically. She had gone from 4cm to 10 in just two hours, she was vomiting (normal), she was nauseous, shaking (normal for transition), and most importantly she was starting to labor down for two hours and then the pushing began.

In retrospect this is also where things got dicey. Emmett did not like the pushing part of things. He did not tolerate it well. More specifically his heart rate would plummet after every contraction. Just for reference: in utero a baby's heart beat is about 120-160 bpm. This is where Emmett was usually, hence the textbook reference earlier in this post, but after each contraction he would drop down to 70. Anything around 60 is permanent brain damage territory so this was worrying. Now did we know any of this. Nope. We were kept as blissfully unaware of the situation as you can be when you are pushing out a baby.

This progressed with varying degrees of severity for a few hours, with the longest stretch being about 15 minutes of a very low heart beat for Emmett. We didn't know this but when Dr. Woods arrived the OR was prepped for a crash C-section if it became necessary. Amber did not want a C-Section. Out of anything that could possibly happen during this delivery Amber would do just about anything to avoid a C-section. So when they told her to get on her hands and knees in order to get Emmett in a better position, she did and with gusto. When they told her to wear the oxygen mask "for the baby" she never questioned the reasoning (although this and the growing crowd in the room were setting off some alarm bells in my medically aware head. Even though all these extra people know us, I had a sneaking suspicion they were not there because they were bored at 0130 on a Monday morning).

When they told her to push, she pushed like a champion. (And this is not just a very biased proud husband talking. This is what every nurse said over the subsequent day. ) She gave it all she had, but that was looking like it might not be enough. We were now experiencing the problem of a larger mass trying to fit in a hole with a smaller diameter. This is when Amber's Spartan like pushing was a good thing. Without the umph that she gave it Emmett's head would not have stretched the vaginal wall like it did. Now this has made for a longer harder recovery, but this is much better than a C-section recovery so she is grateful for that. But towards the end things were starting to look really bad for Emmett and Amber's heroic pushing was just not going to stretch what needed to be stretched, even after hours of laboring down (only made possible by the wonderful epidural). That is when Dr. Woods did a little strategic snipping of the perineum and out shot Emmett.

As soon as he was out he let out some very welcome screams, much to the relief of his doting parents, but even more of a relief to the pediatrician, 2 respiratory therapy nurses, Neonatal ICU nurse, Charge nurse and physician who all knew what was actually going on. I then cut the cord and watched as the pediatrician checked him out and said he was all good, except for a really fast heart beat and fast breathing all because of this super slow heart beat during labor and the stress that accompanied that. This eventually cleared itself up with skin to skin calming time with mom and there was no needed stay in the Neonatal ICU as was originally feared. He then weighed in at 8 Lbs 10.6 oz. (3929 g for the metrically inclined) and 19.5 inches long. He was a large baby and if we had waited longer to have him I believe a C-section would have been necessary. Another reason to be grateful! Amber also produced a massive placenta, FYI.

After a little bit longer than the normal stay in L&D to make sure everything was all clear, we moved to postpartum and had a relaxing time as all hell broke loose in L&D with many crash C-Sections, deliveries and interesting characters. We really were the calm in the midst of the storm, and I attribute a lot of the to the talented Dr. Woods who took as many safe routes around a C-Section as possible and kept things from being less complicated.

Seeing Emmett was definitely the highlight of my life. I even teared up a little, and for those who know me know this is a big deal. I don't know if it was because I saw my son for the first time or because I saw my wife do an amazingly hard thing with poise and gusto. Either way there were tears. Since then there have been many many great moments where I have been able to hold the little man and let the reality gradually sink in that he is mine, and "there ain't nothin you girls can do about it!" ( 5 points if you know where that quote comes from)