Dear the Feeling of Freedom,
I felt you today and I fell in love! I just got a sneak peak into your amazing feeling that you give and I want to feel you always!
All the feelings that I felt today I understand are not needed to make one happy, but they sure help. My life up until this point has always been working towards another vacation that would take me to the other side of the world. When traveling I feel free, like the world is my playground. I absolutely embrace that feeling. I feel in charge and confident. I don't have confinements and I have purpose. I also think in traveling I know I will succeed. There are no real rules to worry about.Well, other than dyeing. That is a pretty good one :) You just travel and take the adventure that comes your way. This thought I know scares some people to death. I am the opposite. Sitting behind a desk all day scares me to death. It can be summed up from a quote that I heard in a movie. It went something like this
"No breaks. No stopping.
I go for my all and feel the wind rush past.
One day I may have to stop,
but that is not today."
Once in Thailand we, three other girlfriends of mine that were also in their early twenties, decided to go stay a few days out on this island that we heard was pretty. We got a ride out to the pier hoping that we could catch a boat. A little wooden creaking thing that made a dyeing noise with each movement it made took us out to sea. It was very poetic if you ask me and it was absolutely thrilling!!! When we first ventured onto the little boat it was around dusk but soon the sun set and it was pitch black. We could see nothing for miles in every direction. Out on the ocean there are no lights to distract your eyes from the stars. It was one of the most amazing feelings in the world. In the moment where there is no sound, nothing to pull you from that moment and no other busy sights to pull your eyes away then you get the opportunity to stare at God's creations and get a tiny glimpse into its beauty. I feel so large in those moments. It is like the entire world is mine and anything I want to accomplish is possible. God created me just as he created those stars. They shine so bright and I feel that power in me. He made the stars to shine in the overwhelming darkness of the night sky out on the ocean. If He can so that than he must have made me to shine as well. After reaching land we set out to find a hostel. We had no idea if there would be one available. Some of the girls were getting scared at about this time. Well, actually they were a bit afraid at the possibility of getting to the pier and their being no boats. These moments never scared me. The beautiful thing about living with no plan is you do not need to make a hotel reservation or if you miss the boat than you get to learn about the city you happened to get stuck in.
Beginning our walk around the island of Koh Samet we found a little hostel that had available rooms. The next day after exploring more we found another hostel down on the not so inhabited side of the island where we could get a room in this tiny hostel that had rooms literally on the sand of the beach for only a $1.50 per person a night :) Perfection!!! We had the most amazing time. Looking back I am so grateful that I felt free and confident to just go galavanting across Thailand. Being scared would have stopped me from having this amazing experience.
The large pig that was on our walk from the other side of the island to our get away hostel.
More views from our hostel!!!
Can you see all the little rainbow fish?
ELEPHANTS!!
Ancient Temples
We each sent off a lantern... Like in the movie Tangled :)
Crickets for dinner anyone?
!!!BABIES!!!
I LOVE traveling and I never want these experiences to not be part of my life... but I realized today that I want the feeling of confidence and being in charge of my life when I am in my own home. The everyday life that does not involve traveling around the world can feel amazing too. Being with those I love is a type of freedom that also can not be beat but today I felt a glimpse of freedom, not only happiness but freedom in the mundane things and I want to figure out how to capture it always.
The wind was blowing outside and I felt happy inside my clean apartment. It is hard having a small place that six girls share. Ridiculous I know, such a first world problem... but hey. I would love to make it all mine with beautiful decorations and always have it be clean and tidy but it is almost impossible when you have five other grown ladies that want to do their thing in the living room or kitchen. But today :) the kitchen was clean and inviting. Everyone's dishes were washed and put away and things were off the counters. For the first time I was excited to venture through my cupboards and cook! I felt in charge and organized and cooked! I had my country music blaring and I found myself dancing and singing! I had no restrictions in my little kitchen and it felt like freedom!!! After eating I got in my car and drove to meet a friend at the dollar theater. As I drove once again I felt free and in charge. I played my music and I realized that I could take off and drive to Timbuktu (I know I literally could not, but that is not the point :)) if I wanted. I was free to do what I wanted, I was just choosing not to. That feeling alone was FREEDOM! I had not realized how tied down I usually felt. It isn't that anyone or anything is causing me to feel that way... It is in my mind.
We are capable of anything!!! I always say it, but today I filled out my graduation application. I am really getting ready to graduate from college. As I filled it out it hit me that I never believed that this was possible. I mean, ya I knew that sometime in the far off future I would graduate, but it was so far in the future that it kind of didn't exist in my head. All of a sudden I feel like anything is possible, literally :)
Thank you Feelings of Freedom!
Sincerely,
Me
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